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"My 9 year old daughter was raped and I'm here!"
Tanika had sat through most of our group sessions quietly, sometimes offering a comment or asking a question but for the most part, just observing. When she entered the classroom on this day, however, I could tell that today would be different. She angrily began telling us her story.
“My cousin began raping me when I was 9 years old. I hated it but he threatened to kill my mom if I told anyone. The rapes stopped when I was 17 and moved in with my boyfriend, Jamal. My relationship with Jamal was wonderful at first. He was sweet and loving and I felt like a princess for the first time in my life. Things changed when I became pregnant, however. He was irritable and jealous and often punched me in my stomach. I was so afraid that I would lose the baby.
“Our daughter, Kenisha was born on a beautiful fall day in September. She was gorgeous and I hoped that now that we had a child, Jamal would settle down. I gave birth to four more children over the next ten years but things only grew worse with Jamal. His jealousy and rage were getting progressively worse and I never knew when it would boil over into physical violence. I tried to shield my kids from his rage as best I could but was not always successful.
“Shortly after Kenisha’s 9th birthday, I found her in the bathroom doubled over in pain and saw the blood running down her legs. She was hysterical and through her sobs told me that her uncle had just raped her. I called the police, they took us to the hospital and I watched helplessly as my little girl went through the grueling process of evidence gathering. The officer told me that they had a lot of evidence and were confident her rapist would be convicted but they couldn’t find him. Jamal’s family joined forces and was hiding him.
“I made a stupid decision to steal a stuffed animal from Kenisha’s favorite store in hopes that it would help her to feel better and got caught. Unfortunately, this wasn’t my first shoplifting charge so I can’t make bail. The thing is, my baby is suffering and I’m not there to help her. I know what she is experiencing because I experienced it! She is at my mom’s house but sleeps in the hallway on the floor because it is the only place she feels safe. They still haven’t arrested her rapist so she is terrified that he will find her. She has stopped eating and desperately needs help. I’ve gone to so many agencies to try to get counseling for her but the waiting list is so long.
“If that wasn’t enough, my cousin—the guy who raped me so many years ago—called me yesterday. He wants to know if we can ‘hang’ when I get out. It made me so angry! How dare he think he can just come back into my life after what he did to me? I’m just so angry and I feel so helpless!”
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